Sometimes i sit around and think about contributions of various countries around the world, specifically, when it comes to food.

Idle thoughts, to be sure, but then i am a pretty idle dude. And it goes something like this. Germans have given the world such delicacies as wienerschnitzel and the radler, the Greeks, gyros. British with their assorted disgusting meat pies, Koreans… well, you know the national dish of koreans, the fermented cabbage bomb, the kimchi. Are we forgetting anything? oh, yes, what about China?

China in my opinion, has but two contributions to the world worth a damn in my opinion(yeah, gunpowder and medicine don’t mean smack to me). And i don’t care what you think these two things may be, one is the written language (kanji, hanja, hanzi) and the other, ramen.

yes, ramen.

of course, once the japanese got their hands on it, it went under a transformation from a working man’s grub to an exalted dish in which some are prepared to wait for two hours in a line to taste its magic. I consider myself a young turk when it comes to ramen soup base, preferring miso base over the more traditional shio or shoyu (salt and soy sauce, respectively) soup. Your mileage may vary. Some do prefer shoyu over miso flavor, but then i also heard that communists like shoyu better too.

Miso Ramen. Bestest type of ramen in the world.

Undisputed mastery of miso ramen is achieved in the beautiful city of Sapporo, it originated there, after all, and the ramen masters there in Susukino district’s Ramen Yokocho also go ahead and dump a generous servings of seafood such as squid and crabs in the ramen. Oh, you haven’t read my entry on Ramen Yokocho in Sapporo? For shame! Get thee to this link!

Now you know that the Japanese take ramen making seriously. Alas, i must report that ramen making endeavors in korea falls short of what’s really considered gourmet.
I recall being in Busan, Korea for the hell of it once, and despite mean as hell taxi drivers and middle aged dudes fist fighting outside the train station, it is a pretty city.

On the other hand, being hungry, I ordered a bowl of ramen at a local fast foodery. Imagine my dismay when the ramen I ordered was from a pack of “Shin-ramyon”, complete with soup base in a shiny silvery pouch. Damn, even I can make that kind of ramen! To be fair, it tasted pretty good considering it came out of a packet, but this is not what I had in mind. One can’t complain about the price, though, at close to mere three bucks, what do you want?

Things are a bit different in Japan, though. Although most ramen joints have some great tasting stuff, I urge you to avoid “stand up and eat” stall ramen. Maybe it was just bad luck, but I had a hell of a stomach trouble for days after a bout in one of those ramen places.

In Yokohama, apparently, there exists “Shin Yokohama Raumen Amusement Park”. I haven’t personally visited, but you can bet that it’s high on my list of culturally vital locations one must visit while in Japan, maybe up there with the toilet musuem.

Shin Yokohama Ramen Museum

Well, it took long enough for Japan to catch up on its canning technology, but it seems that you can finally get meat stew in a can. “Niku Jaga”, AKA “Beef Stew” has been available, like forever in the States in the form of Dinty Moore beef stew. Here’s a lovely shot of the meaty, pasteurized canned product:

As a kid, I used to love this stuff, and would chow it down almost on a weekly basis, thus explaining some of my eccentricities. Now, any fool can pop open a can of ol’ Dinty and make hisself a bowl of steaming stew. But I have perfected a Dinty Moore Stew masterpiece.

And I’m just the sort of generous dude to be sharing with the world (well, all twelve of you readers of this blog, anyway) my super delicious, super secret Dinty Moore canned stew recipe. Now pay attention, please.

1. acquire a large can of Dinty Moore brand beef stew.
2. 8 ounce can of V-8 (you can use the spicy kind, if you are a daredevil, like me)
3. 2 ounces of Clamato. What’s a “Clamato”? why it’s clam juice and tomato juice concoction! It’s delicious. Try it.
4. some tabasco

Dump all this stuff into a pot, bring it to a boil. Use a spoon, and eat it.

In Japan, of course, you might not have ready source of Dinty Moore, and even less probably, Clamato. Fear not. In Setagaya Seijo (which I assume is near Akihabara) in Tokyo, you can get “Niku Jaga”, or beef stew from a vending machine.

And what luck! You can also get oden in a can from the very same vending machine, along with sake. That, my friends, is a fine meal waiting to happen.

Found at Enjoy Tokyo (in Japanese)

It just goes to show you, that in the wacky world of blogging, there are websites that cover almost any subject. Case in point, a blog dedicated to… candy. It’s called “candyblog”, appropriately enough, and well, it’s a wealth of information about candies and other sweetstuff.

I had fun reading some of the entries, but one of my favorites is Matcha Kit Kat.

What exactly is “matcha”? well, let’s consult the good ol’ Wikipedia, shall we?

Matcha:

Maccha (抹茶, Maccha) [matʲːɕa], sometimes spelled matcha, is a fine, powdered green tea used in Japanese tea ceremony and to dye and flavour foods such as mochi and soba noodles, green tea ice cream and a variety of wagashi (Japanese confectionery). The most famous Maccha-producing regions are Uji in Kyoto (tea from this region is called “Ujicha”), Nishio in Aichi (tea from this region is called Nishiocha) both on the main island of Honshū; Shizuoka, and Northern Kyushu.

Maccha is generally expensive compared to other forms of tea, although its price depends on its quality. It can be hard to find outside Japan, as can the implements traditionally used to prepare and consume it.

There you go.

Now, shall we see what this “KitKat” is?

KitKat:

KitKat bar is a confection first created by Rowntree Limited of York, England and now made by Nestlé, which acquired Rowntree in 1988. It consists of thick bars composed of three layers of creme-filled wafer, covered in an outer layer of chocolate. Each finger can be snapped from the bar one at a time.

Wow, what doesn’t Wiki know? Anyway, Nestle has decided that for the Japanese market, it simply must bring these two disparate ingredients together in a candy bar form, thus giving birth to a matcha KitKat.

The author of “Candyblog” even has a ranking system for sweets, and according to the site, the best that matcha KitKat can muster is a rather mediocre “tempting”. Not to tell how others to run their business or anything, but the rating system used seems kind of wacky. Highest rating is “superb” at perfect 10, but 6 is “tempting”? and 9 a “yummy”? I guess.

I haven’t had the chance to try the said confection, but I think I will go out and buy a bar, in the interest of scientific and cultural research.

from CandyBlog

I present you dear readers with some more messed up ice cream flavors.

First up, abalone flavored ice cream.

“Dracula”. Is it Dracula flavored? Does it taste like an old Eastern European dude? Or is it garlic flavored? Wow. I’d go with the old Eastern European dude flavor. Garlic? That’s just messed up.

Deep Sea Flavor. Hm?

Okay, I really hope this flavor really exists. If it doesn’t, I think someone should invent it. Shochu flavored? Yes, please.

For even more messed up ice cream flavors, visit
Mainich Daily News

Have you ever been to Berkeley, CA? Well, if you have you’d have come away with a few distinct impressions of the city. Number one, you’d notice how friggin cold it is there during summer. I think Mark Twain said something like “The coldest winter I’ve ever spent was a summer in San Francisco”. San Francisco being just a drive over the Bay Bridge, you see.

You’d notice the nice campus, of course, and myriad bookstores and cafes, where intellectual dudes hang out and debate politics and Che Guevarra.

And you’d notice the bums and the homeless. Wait, let me back up. Sorry, not “bums”, but “domicile challenged”. We are talking about Berkeley, after all, perhaps the most politically correct city in the universe.

The thing about these homeless is the fact that many are quite aggressive, funny, or just plain deranged. Many of them have taken to living on a patch of land near the university called “The People’s Park”, which I avoid assiduously since the only “People” living there are stabby drug dealers.

Many have a funny sign for panhandling, such as “Please give me money or I’ll eat my kittens”. Hm. I’ll pay to see THAT. It’s been a while since I’ve lived there, and I wonder if the homeless are as prevalent there now as before. Which is not to say that there aren’t homeless all over the world.

Perhaps some think that Japan is so clean and nice that there simply aren’t homeless people, but that would be a wrong assumption. I clearly recall seeing blue-tarped make-shift tents under train bridges as I was riding the train into Osaka. And on the streets of Osaka itself, one can quite often see drunk passed out gentlemen, who definitely seem domicile challenged. But aggressive panhandling? I’ve never encountered that. Only time I’ve seen someone who is seeking donation are the “ninja monks”(I made that word up) who hold out a bowl of alms holding a staff. Presumably using the staff to beat teenage thugs.

I was shocked and disgusted, of course when I saw on TV that some punkass teen set fire to an old homeless man’s tent burning to death the poor guy inside. I believe when the authorities asked this twisted jerk why he did what he did, he simply answered something like “It’s a shame that a country like Japan has these human trash. So I decided to do something about it.”

As grotesque as that story is, this type of homeless bashing is not an isolated incident in Japanese society, to which i have to ask, “What the hell is the matter with some of you?!” It’s not like America, where some shady dude approaches you and asks for change. In fact, you’d hardly know some of the homeless would even exist, unless you were paying attention, as most of these folks keep to themselves. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Tokyo Godfathers”, you would see how badly some of these people are treated sometimes.

In PingMag, a German artist named Anke Haarmann did a documentary about the homeless in Osaka, and it’s a very interesting read.

The facts are vague: there seem to be about 25 000 homeless people in Japan. Some of them describe themselves as ‘no jyuku sha’ or ‘field campers’ - as they manage to settle in parks and other public spaces on a more permanent basis, easily distinguishable by their tent houses made of stark blue plastic covers. Especially in Osaka, these ‘campers’ not only organize themselves increasingly over the internet. They also engage in political activities to stand up for their rights and protest against the increasing park clearings by the municipiality. German artist Anke Haarmann did a documentary about this situation called Public Blue. For PingMag she explained the ‘no jyuku sha’ movement and talked about the current state in Japan and its conditions.

From PingMag

USB powered “Sukkiri Mask”. Wow.

Puhahahaha!

Buy it from Thanko
via Gizmodo

First time I’d seen a mailman in Japan, I was quite surprised. I suppose I expected all mailmen of the world to be driving around in either a Jeep with no door, or a squat van. But, in reality, they deliver mail the old fashion way… on a scooter. I suppose this is fine for a country like Japan, where there’s not a lot of junk mail that’s delivered to a home. Actually, this does infuriate me, the fact that in America, for example, one is delivered a veritable tome of useless flyers and junk mail.

What junk mail I did receive in Japan were usually discreetly tucked in my mail slot, mostly advertisements for, uh, “women of ill repute.” Some of them are quite graphic, actually. The flyers, I mean, not mailmen. What’s interesting is they have prices printed on the flyers for, ahem, various services that women may perform.

One other type of junk mail I didn’t mind getting was pizza flyers. Yeah, yeah, sausages, ham, onions, etc from Pizza Hut. But this being Japan and all, the ingredients are sometimes quite varied. To wit:

- shrimp
- squid
- corn
- possibly seaweed

and what’s up with Mayo? But, I have to admit, they are delicious, even the mayo pizza. Too bad they are hellaciously expensive! I’d say good twice the cost of American Pizza Hut. And, just like the intrepid mailmen, they are usually delivered on a scooter.

Well, here’s an advert for Pizza Hut Japan’s “Sausage Crust”. What, you have cheese baked in your American crust? Pfft. Amateurs. Japanese bake damned sausage into their crust, along with more sliced sausage and even “bacon cheese”, just in case your cholesterol intake isn’t sufficient.

Now, I generally don’t like to actually eat the crust of a pizza, after all, to me, the crust of a pizza is the handle. What country are YOU from that eats a handle? But in this case, when the handle is made from pig parts, I may make an exception.

Notice the price, Walmart shoppers. It’s 2,400 yen for medium, and 3,450 for large. You get two pies, and that’s over sixty bucks. But as the flyer says, “It’s popular with kids!” Well, then. Time to bust out that yen note with some lady on it.

note: It comes with corn. CORN! What the hell are you guys thinking?

from Supersized Meals

I wrote about Korea’s baddest ass (I assume that’s a proper superlative of “bad-ass”) Yi Sun Shin a while back. What I didn’t know at the time was that he had a sword that was nearly 180 cm in length (almost six and a half feet!)

I figure, this makes sense, since a baddest ass needs a baddest sword. Anyway, the website where I found this image says that the Admiral received this humongous blade from the king as a present. Wait, the same king that imprisoned him and tortured him? Man, those Korean royalty back then were sure bi-polar.

What struck me about this blade is how similar it looks to Japanese katana. Weird, since I’d always thought that Korean swords were mostly one handed affair, and much more ornate.

You learn something new everyday…

Canned food.

Is there any more romantic image that is conjured up in one’s head when one softly whispers these two words? More so than “Coq au Vin”, or “Filet Mignon”, or even “Chocolate-dipped Strawberries”, to me, the words “Canned Food” conjures up images of times bygone, where a hobo’s only tool is a twig and some small fire and he can invariably cook a veritable feast for himself and his tramp brethren. Indeed, Popeye is nothing but a total wuss until he gets his abnormally large forearm and hands around a can of spinach.

Anything can be canned, you name it. What is the most exotic food you’ve eaten? If you said “Bun-deh-gi” [번데기], then you are an impresario of culinary adventurism. Also, that’s disgusting.

Ah yes, silk worm pupae… CANNED!

On the other hand, I’d be hard pressed to say “french fries” or anything like that, but indeed, they do exist, albeit in a “shoe string potato” form. What in blazes is a “shoestring potato”? I tried one, when I was a wee lad, and perhaps I dug into an old one(It said it expires in 1982), but the taste and texture was like munching into a stack of old newspaper.

One thing I certainly didn’t expect to find is canned oden. But the premise is brilliant! You certainly can never find a decent oden place when you really need one, that is, early in the morning or late at night when you’re drunk. And at home. By stocking up on these “ko-tengu” brand oden-in-a-can, you can be sure to have drinking snack anytime of the day. Just think of the possibilities.

I hear you can find one in a vending machine near Akihabara.

Ho! Even a quail egg.

And if you happen to be especially lazy like me, and can’t be bothered to use proper pots and utensils, you can simply pop the top and warm the can up over your stove! True hobo style!

I’m really taken with this product, since I know how difficult it is to get good oden sometimes. Sure, you can always pop over to your local Lawson convenience store if you happen to live in Japan, but I just don’t know. I don’t really trust their oden, as it’s usually uncovered, and whenever i get it, it’s always sort of luke-warm, and I’m really never sure how fresh it is.

Lawson oden. WAAAY overpriced.

忘

Kun-yomi: わす(れる) [wasu-reru]

On-yomi: ボウ [bou]

忘れる: わすれる [wasureru]- to forget

忘年会: - ぼうねんかい [bou nen kai] - a year end party