Tigers and Cranes

some phones are status symbols, like the vertu phone which goes for a mere chump change of usd $35,000.

i imagine a phone like that still primarily makes phonecalls and allows you to text message, but at the same time, one can make the same argument that no one really needs a $1.3 million bugatti veyron when something like a nissan Z is plenty fast. but i guess that misses the point. it’s a status symbol thing, like someone owning a $50 million yacht to mainly throw parties. to this i say, when are you going to invite me??

in the same vein, but maybe not as outrageous, is the new “serene” phone from samsung and bang and olufsen. you know samsung; these guys pump out infinite number of TVs and cellies, and for once, they decided to go with a pretty high end cell phone that well, makes phonecalls and stuff.

partnering with bang and olufsen, makers of inscrutable high end audio visual components that are supposedly “high-art”, samsung introduces what can maybe consfuse people with makeup compact.

one thing i wasn’t aware about this particular phone is the fact that the display area is actually where the mouthpiece is located, and one puts one’s ears against the dial pad. i kept wondering when they’d turn the phone around to the correct orientation… hm. this is supposedly done so that the display won’t get greasy. hey, that’s what a pair of jeans are for. i personally like to wipe my display down once in a while with a toilet paper soaked in ethyl alcohol, but that’s just me. besides, won’t all that spittle get on the screen?

the question you really want the answer to is “how many clams?” the answer is: surprisingly “affordable” usd $1000.

read all about it at mobile review

for the first time, it appears, the korean marines have completed a beach landing assault without any joint american military presence.

say what one will about the current u.s.-south korean relationship, when it comes to the military, south korea has always been one of staunchest allies. during the vietnam war, south korea has sent the most troops of any nation to fight alongside the american forces there. and of course, after great britain, south korea still maintains the largest military presence in iraq right now.

it’s been reported that the marines sent to vietnam were routinely held back on patrols and relegated to rear echelon because well, they were just over there to kick ass. basically, the NVA and the vietcongs much preferred to fight the americans as korean troops were pretty brutal and relentless in combat. there are many tales of korean troops playing soccer with heads of fallen enemy.

in this current exercise dubbed “ghost busters”, a full amphibious assault exercise with landing crafts, attack helicopters, crusiers, tanks, and helicopters amkes it appear the ROK marines are ready to invade, oh, i don’t know, a certain neighbor to the north.

it’s the weekend!

i have posted a japanese movie review, a 2004 film called “2LDK”, about two japanese women out to destroy each other, first psychologically, then physically, using all manner of weapons around the apartment.

excerpt from the review:

in 2004, directors Tsutsumi Yukihiki and Kitamura Ryuhei were challenged by the producer Kawai Shinya to produce a film with only two actors, filmed within a span of one week. one was “Aragami”, and the other was 2LDK by tsutsumi.

So, you have this image in your mind that Japanese girls are these nice, polite people, do you? Then you owe it to yourself to check out this demented, yet unintentionally hilarious film about two young actresses who are, let’s say, not so nice to each other.

read the review here

i guess the moniker “sxi” is supposed to evoke the word “sexy”. and i never thought i’d say it, but here is a sexy looking hyundai sonata. according to the article from autoblog, the car is being shown in australia to gauge public’s reaction to a hopped up hyundai.

more pics at autoblog

there are cultures and subcultures, and there are subcultures of subcultures in japan. witness the phenomenon of “kigurumi” [着ぐるみ], in which otherwise sane person dons a suit of say, a rabbit or a holstein cow.

and not necessarily for halloween.

the obvious question would be: “why??”

because it’s cute. i think many still haven’t grasped the concept and the power of cute in japan and korea. it’s not enough that cuteness exists, but it has to pervade your life, you must breathe cute. have you seen the mascot of south korean army? he’s a tiger, which is good, since that would be a powerful, fierce predator. but this being korea, they couldn’t very well just have a regular ol’ boring tiger.

contrast that with america, for example. if i may make a gross generalization(and let’s face it, on this website, that’s pretty much par for the course), america is into display of power and… bigness. how else to explain popularity of things like hummer or arnold schwarzenegger?

compare and contrast:

i really couldn’t tell you what activity a person would be engaged in wearing one of these costumes, but i have a suspicion that it might to stand in front of a udon shop or a bookstore handing out free tissues. come to think of it, i think i would probably be more inclined to take a free tissue from a holstein cow than some dude in a suit.

i’m really sorry but i had to do it. the world is a cold, cruel place, inhabited by mean spirited money grubbing jerks who send spam in hopes of making some ill-gotten scratch.

as far as email is concerned, yeah, i can deal with it, you know, just set the spam filter on “industrial strength”. but the evil doers that the spammers are, have infilitrated this website and i am inundated with it. they offer all sorts of exotic drugs as well as uh, anatomical enhancements.

so i regret to inform you that there will be a short delay in sorting out real comments from spam, so if your comment doesn’t appear immediately, don’t fret… it’s just spam filter doing its thing and your comment will show up soon enough.

now excuse me, i have to write a check to this nigerian prince who needs my help in getting his money out of his bank…

sit down at a restaurant, visit someone’s home, or even visit a business in japan, and what are you served? tea, of course! it’s just good manners, you know, to pour someone who has made an effort to visit you something hot and sippable. of course, for the most part, it’s coffee in korea, but it’s tea in japan.

this, amongst other things were revealed to me by my powers of keen observation.

wait, wait… before you roll your eyes in derision, let me explain. i know what you’re thinking “wow, great revelation there. what other fantastical observations are you going to make?” listen, i want you to understand that i am a neo-cultural observer/revelator. and as such, here is my observation regarding japan and korea.

japan is england,
korea is america.

incredible power of observation, isn’t it? here is how i came by this amazing ethnographic discovery/analysis.

fact 1: japanese drive their car on the left side of the road. in england? yep! they also drive on the left side. i know some of you are nodding your head impatiently thinking “of course, you simpleton, it’s the british who first brought cars and paved road to japan!” right. i know this. but at the same time, look at korea, where people drive on the right side… like america! i can hear from the peanut gallery already: “yes, you goober, that’s because after the korean war, american influence was heavy in korea.” well. i know. i’m just trying to point out the obvious here as i continue to build my case.

fact 2: japan is an island, and korea is not. i mean, this should be obvious to anyone who’s ever looked at a map. this same sage person would also conclude that england is also on an island. a-ha, but america is not.

fact 3: japan is all about rock music(and some morning musume) but korea is all about hip hop. now i think this is a fantastic revelation. why do you suppose japanese are more into rock-ish music, and its attentdant long hair and tight jeans whereas in korea, it’s more about rap, hip hop and urban music?

that’s right.

because japan is england and korea is america.

fact 4: japanese are reserved and polite. like the british used to be. before they became all unruly and stuff. koreans are brash, more outgoing and boisterous. yes, that’s right! like most americans! man, i am on a roll!

fact 5: japanese are tea drinkers… like some certain island country, and koreans for the most part are coffee drinkers. coincidence?

fact 6: japanese have the emperor, and the brits have the queen. in america, there is the white house, and in korea, the blue house.

i think you can see where i’m going with this. i’m sure ther are many more supporting evidences, and i will find and post some more on this totally non-researched, totally glib generalization of the two countries.

doraemon has a magical pocket in front of him where he can pretty much pull out any fantastic devices, usually to help that ingrate nobita, who, after being beaten up by his “buddy” named “gian”, comes home crying and begs doraemon to right the injustices of his little world.

and look what a nice… uh, cat doraemon is. despite hundreds of requests prior, he usually helps out the weakling by producing such awesome device as invisibility pills or belt that turns nobita into a sumo king. and speaking of being ungrateful, nobita will often reach into doraemon’s pocket himself, hoping to greedily pull out some gizmo from the future he can use today.

well, it’s not just that little shrimp nobita that doraemon helps now. because what you see is doraemon helping you to groove out by playing music through his… feet.

this awesome doraemon speaker has a battery pack that slips in via a zipper in his back, and it can even get its juice from a car adapter.

forget nobita. doraemon’s here, and he will rock you.

from rakuten

no, the above title isn’t something i hammered out on the keyboard while drunk.

lotte is a giant snack conglomerate that has a long history in both japan and korea. lotte was established in tokyo in 1948 by a korean dude named shin kyuk-ho as a maker of bubble gum [”fusen gum”], and ever since, has expanded to included all manner of snacks and junkfood. lotte has set up overseas branch of itself over the years, south korea being one of its largest markets.

in fact, lotte department store and lotte world in seoul are, yep, you guessed it, owned by lotte. lotte also owns baseball teams, namely chiba lotte marines, as well as lotte giants in korea.

oh yeah, lotteria(the burger place which i love) is also owned by this conglomerate. apparently, the only business lotte hasn’t got its fingers in is producing weapons, but i’m sure they’re working on that too.

a little trivia: the name “lotte” is short for charlotte, a character from the german novel “the sorrows of young werther” by goethe. so says wiki.

sure, these days lotte is an unstoppable cash machine that deals with finance, IT, hotels, chemicals, electronics(!), along with a thousand other disparate endeavors, but in the 80’s, they had some really retarded ideas, like “lotte screwbar”.

no, it’s not a construction implement, rather, it’s a popsicle that is twisted along its z-axis. i found this unintentinally hilarious and disturbing korean commercial from the 80s feauturing, inexplicably, korean harem girls(i think), a horrible animated cartoon character(i think he was feautured in comic strips called “go in dol”), and a pretty awful “arabian music”.

i wish they still sold this. so i could say “hey, you wanna screwbar?”

and get slapped.

no matter where you live in the world, it eventually dawns on me that well, people will eat just about anything. i mean, who is the first guy who looked at a sea urchin, or say a sea cucumber that thought “hey, this will make a nice snack!” i’m willing to say that it was probably on a bet.

it turns out that over 80 percent of the world’s population eats insects on a regular basis. and for a good reason… pound for pound, there are more insects and its ilk on earth than all the mammals and reptiles and birds combined. by far. while i’m not sure what japanese dish are made with bugs, i can for certain tell you that koreans eat, or at least used to eat such delectable critters such as grasshoppers(fried), and of course, bundegi, chrysalis of a moth… that is, a baby moth. still quite popular as a drink snack.

i’m willing to wager that drunk enough, one can be goaded to eat almost anything, no matter how repulsive, grody, or just plain weird and repulsive. such was the time when i ate, albeit a tiny little amount, of whale.

sashimi.

it was a one fine evening in kobe, and meeting up with a few of my old buddies, it was decided that we’ll be heading over to shinkaich district of kobe. shinkaichi is famous as an evening entertainment district, if you know what i mean.

but we, being cheap bastards that we are, we were not heading there for any unwholesome form of entertainment, rather, it was because apparently there are some mighty cheap beers to be had at a particular liquor store.

“we’re drinking in a liquor store?” i ask incredulously. i mean, it’s one thing to be drinking at a chain izakaya, but it’s a whole ‘nudder thing to be hanging out in front of a seven eleven or something drinking asahi out of a paper sack. “couldn’t we, you know, just drink at a proper izakaya?”

“trust me. this place is great. they have a good menu and the drinks are cheap,” replied my more shinkaichi wise buddy.

indeed, the place sells sake and such at its storefront, but round the back is a, well, a drinking establishment. quite conveneint, actually, and they were right. beers were cheap, and came in large frosty mugs.

they thought it’d be a hoot to order some whale, and while i’ve had whale before, this plate of blood-red slabs of whale flesh made me look at it with dubious eyes.

“i ain’t eatin that, you barbarians. whales are our friend.” i protested.
“yeah, well, i’m having some. i’ll try anything once” shot back my friend, which to me is a pretty stupid way to live your life. what, would you try a pinch of arsenic, then? or, how about a puff from a crack pipe? foolishness.

the whole evening these potential crack-smokers were cajoling me to eat raw flesh of a whale. hell, i didn’t even know what kind of whale it was. is it a minke whale? a humpback? or, heaven forbid, a sperm whale? i didn’t like the sound of that.

but you know how it is. alcohol can sure cloud your judgement and your morals, if sufficient amount has been imbibed. and, against my better judgment and moral repulsion, i did take a nibble. i nearly choked up as i realized now that i could no longer claim to be a whale sashimi virgin. i felt empty and hollow. the worst part was i was imagining a live healthy whale as i’m nibbling on his flesh. he has a reproachful look on his(or her) face as if to say “you suck.”

how did it taste? well, not having taken a substantial piece to really know, i’d guess it tastes somewhere between congealed mucus and raw beef, i imagine. but the horror! the texture is outworldly, akin to perhaps chewing on a tender earlobe of a sheep. yuk.

somewhere in the shrouded mists of times bygone, some dude somewhere sat around a beached whale and thought, “hey, i’m hungry, and i’m too lazy to build a fire. i think i’ll try a slab of this here whale meat. i’ll try anything once”.